Be Nice to People,
Julie
I Love you, Jessica
1 year ago
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Feelin' Blue
Today I was going to post about something that I have been working on for a quilt challenge, but had a sad Mom moment this afternoon that I will share instead. I came home from picking up the junior high car pool kids to find my almost 16 year old sobbing on her bed. I gave her a hug. She just said, "Mom, I can't do everything anymore." Broke my heart... She explained that she is tired(biggest challenge), couldn't face piano lessons today, got a lower score on a test than expected, had mountains of homework, and still had chores and life to deal with. Where does a Mom draw the line? Where does a Mom say, "You don't have to do that anymore?" How much pressure do we let our teenagers face until they can't face it anymore? I realize that we all have these kinds of days, but I'm still not sure what to say to her. I have turned to prayer and hopefully will have a Mom's intuition to say the right things to her when I feel the moment is right. You just want your children's lives to be happy and carefree---ALWAYS. Unfortunately, that's not reality. I told her I would wake her after a two hour nap, and we will conquer her challenges together. Wow, when I signed up for this(you know, being a Mom), I didn't know it would be so hard!! Just needed to share....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
19 comments:
Oh I know.... it is so hard for us to find balance... think of what being a teen in this day and age is like? They are expected to succeed and work so hard and be a part of so many things. It must be exhausting. You will find the answers together! My girls and I did and still work on it.
I remember having many days like that in high school ...
She's a lucky girl to have you alongside for support when the going gets rough, Julie. Perhaps tomorrow will look different after a bit of extra sleep. If not, help her take things one step at a time... and just let her know you love her.
Teens today (even younger kids) have so much more to deal with then we did growing up, the homework alone is so grueling for them and then add to that any other things in their life just becomes to mich. I pray that you will know what to say or do for her to help her with this burden she is carrying. take care my friend!~Wendy
Being a mom is the hardest job there is. I am the mom of 4 adult children. My grandmother used to say, when they are small, they step on your toes, when they are older, they step on your heart.
My heart goes out to you-- the nap is a great thought, things are always worse when you're tired. My Mom always told me-- Parenting is exhausting and the most difficult thing you'll ever do .... if you're doing it right. Just let her know she's not in it alone...
Being a teenager can definitely be stressful! I am so sorry she is feeling so overwhelmed! It is good that she has a mama who is willing to help her figure this all out! :)
awww bless her heart.
{and yours too.}
my thoughts and prayers are out to you both.
<3
isn't that great that she has someone to tell her it's ok to take a nap? i wish that would happen to me.
Oh I feel for you. I have said many times that you don't realize how hard it is sometimes being a Mom. You just want to make everything perfect for your kids and you want them to be happy. Sounds like you were understanding and empathetic and a rock for your daughter.
OH how I remember those days and wanting to rush in and solve it for them. I did that too much with my Jen and it wasn't the right thing to do in the end. I hope the answer comes to you both. Life is hard!! I bet that lower score was the final straw - that would have done it for me when I was her age. I too hope tomorrow is a better day!
I read Valaries comment to you and my dad used to say the exact same thing! It is so true!
I think you did the right thing in letting her have a nap first, just talk to her and she will feel so much better.
Rondell
i just want to say...........
i think you are a wonderful mom. :)
Dear Julie, the days that your children cry with you can really break your heart. It is so hard to see them hurt, and not so easy to heal them with just a band-aid! You are indeed a wonderful mother and I know that you will be able to mend her hurts. I thought about President Monson's talk on Sunday morning and thought it might give you some comfort. You are doing those things that he councils us to do. Help Jessica to look for those things that are most important in life and find joy in the journey. Tests can be taken again, or made up. Piano Lessons can be re-scheduled, Sisters can show lots of love by serving each other with chores. Homework, just do it one class at a time, and eat lots of treats. Everybody needs a few days off sometimes. But put all that aside and just know that nothing is more important then having a person to love. She will gain strength from learning to overcome disappointments. You are wonderful parents, you have great children. They are so blessed to have you guys as their parents. Oh well I guess this is kind of long...sorry. Lots on my mind today. smile and I know tomorrow will be better.
Oh, how heartbreaking for a Mom! We have all had those moments ourselves but like you said, it seems we're pushing our kids earlier and earlier and harder and harder. I was shocked to see some of Shane's math homework within the first few weeks. They started a new math book and he's doing the early Geometry...that I did in 10th grade! He's in 4th. It's just unbelievable!
Hugs! Hope it all works out for your DD :)
Leslie
Julie I remember going through this exact thing when I was in 11th grade oh just like it was yesterday. I got so overwhelmed and hit depression. My Mom did nothing for me told me to get over it. So, please talk to her and decide together what needs to be done. I will say an extra prayer for her as I know how difficult it is.
Mary
My prayers are with you and your daughter. Bigs Hugs to you!
Bless her heart, have faith mom, its all worth it, and Heavenly Father is on your (and her side:), HE will lead you AND her!!! (that nap is a good idea)
Julie~
Oh my heart is just full for both of you. I know that during high school it was very hard. Seminary, sports, after school commitments, job, homework, & church/mutual...it seemed like where's the down time?
I remember my father sitting me down and saying, we put this in order and what matters first, then whatever we can do after that, we do. He didn't let me give up, BUT, he didn't want me overwhelmed to where I couldn't function or be happy in life. I had to do some rearranging in my life, and it worked. I kept what was important and asked myself, why am I doing this? Is THIS really that important?
But I think as a Mom now, it is so hard because you want what's best for your kiddos and want what they want. I'm quite sure with sleep and some time to collect her thoughts that everything looks different and gives her some time to think about what she would like to do. Heavenly Father will bless you with the words to say and will bless her with the strength to get through her trials.
What a wonderful daughter you have to come to you & talk about this...and what a wonderful mother you are to listen! Blessings & hugs to you both,
Shannon
My heart goes out to both of you ! I really feel sorry for Jessica... But however hard it might be, this kind of event can be a blessing in disguise. Later when she has to deal with so many other aspects of adult life, she will be prepared because such moments will have made her stronger - along with her mom's love and support. Yes, it's discouraging to realise that you can't do it all - at any age ! - but that doesn't make one less of a nice, charming, and helpful person. Didn't she get a card telling her that she's awesome ?? Well in spite of her bad grade and all, she still is. And to finish, as a teacher, I'll tell her that a grade only reflects someone's work and abilities at one point in time. It turns out that at that point in time, they were not as effective as she had thought. Period.That's just it, it doesn't reflect her as a person, it doesn't make her any less smart - she can do better another time, it's human not to be constantly at the top of one's possibilities.
If in the long run she still feels some form of stress, she can give Flylady a try, there is a student control journal on her site.
Many warm hugs to you and her !
Post a Comment